I don’t know where to start….
Most who follow me know why I am doing this journey. Those who follow me know my father pasted away 6 months ago to Cancer and I was absolutely devastated. My friends who were lucky enough to meet the absolute legend that he was would totally understand why. You felt the amazing soul that he was instantly.

Me deciding to travel to South East Asia alone was more than exploring the world. It was a spiritual journey for me to heal, to seek acceptance, forgiveness and peace within myself.
So just a bit of background about me. I was born and raised Catholic however I took a massive interested into Buddisim when I was 19 when I faced a really difficult chapter in my life. Honestly I wouldn’t label myself as any religion yet I would say the best way to describe myself is spiritual. I remember a quote that I found in the first book I read about Buddisim and it really resonated with me, it just made total sense and made me rethink how I saw things. It was “change is not a lost, it’s only a change”.
You know when we go through a breakup a death we feel we have ‘lost’ something and rightly so.  But really we all know nothing in life stays the same… NOTHING… change is inevitable it’s the one thing that is guaranteed. But we are human, we have emotions and get attached and I think sometimes we all just need someone to understand us to guide us to move on in our own time. That’s were our friendships and people close to us step in.

When my dad past away people and friends who lost someone said how they experienced signs etc from their loved ones and to watch out for them. I remember telling my dad days before he died that IF he could find away to reach me or contact me to do it. He said he would.

As me and my dad were so close I waited…. for the signs and … nothing. I never felt a presence or experienced anything super natural let’s say. I’m quite a spiritual person and this kind of saddened me and in a way I was angry. Angry that WHY wouldn’t he reach out to me, he said he’d never leave me but here I am… alone.

From the minute I started my journey in Bangkok I was thinking should I see a tarot, physic or palm reader. Just to see if I would get some sort of message from my dad. I then decided against it but it was something I wanted to do but didn’t know if I could trust someone.
Then comes Bagan and I meet a girl called Luisa. Even our meeting I believe was destiny. I arrived in Bagan days before and connected with 2 guys from Brazil and while they were waiting to get picked up as they were now going to Yangon. At reception they started talking to Luisa and her friend Sofia. Some how, the guys mentioned ME. Saying how I was travelling alone and maybe they should contact me and they gave the girls my room number.

Knock, knock 🤔
Luisa and Sofia are standing outside my door asking if I want to join them for dinner. Absolutely!! I never once mentioned to them my reasons for travelling alone however once we exchanged Instagram’s they read my story.
It just happens that on the anniversary of my dads death Sofia then talks to me about how she read my page and that she also lost her mum. We all sat down on a step inside a Pagoda talking about life, death, sharing our stories and I became so emotional. The genuine vulnerability and honesty in emotions was beautiful…
The girls were due to leave that evening.. then suddenly Luisa tells me she does Angel card readings and if I would like one.

Hell yes …
You may or may not believe in this and everyone is entitled to their own opinion on it. So off to my room and Luisa explains she needs to connect with the cards and says my dads name and my name over and over. She then flips over 4 cards. These cards are things I need to know now….

Every card meant something to me.
The first card was this is your life’s purpose. This trip for me I know will be life changing…. I don’t know what will happen or come out of it but I know me focusing on my passions and having an open heart something will come from it. The self development that I know I will get from this will be enough alone and even if it’s that one person that reads this and connects with me. I’m happy with that.

I always had a sense of guilt when my dad died. I personally healed my leaky gut and intolerances 5 years ago by completely changing my lifestyle and diet when doctors could not help me. I’m a huge believer in food is thy medicine.
When my dad got cancer I researched so much and wanted him to start eating alkaline and avoid meat and dairy. He did reluctantly and also got him taking a range of supplements to support his immune system and he did this throughout his first round of chemo. You should have seen him.
He was strong, no loss of appetite or weight neither did his liver or kidneys get effected. Doctors were shocked.
When he finished his treatment and got tested months later and the results came back cancer free my dad stoped taking everything.

Only that 2 months later the cancer came back and hit him hard. This time for what ever reason he didn’t want to start alkaline again which made me upset. He then also developed lympodema in his leg. This is like an open wound where water is constantly leaking from his leg. He had a few lymph nodes taken out so his body was not able to drain out excess water that his body needed to eliminate. The legs swell and he couldn’t leave the house because even if he had them bandgaged he’d need to come home because the bandages would get soaked and needed changing.  They got worse and finally I beged my dad to juice. When we started juicing and improving his diet within 2 weeks his leg got better when doctors said there is not cure for lynphodema, only to live and manage it!!! After changing his diet slightly and juicing it nearly stoped leaking altogether.  I read so many stories online of other people who managed to do the same thing.

My mum and my dad in 2015 for Christmas

To make a long story short I felt guilty because I feel maybe if I was more persistent maybe my dad would have got better… or maybe not who knows. But I always felt guilty.

Luisa told me angels can not intervene. Angels can only help if we ask for help so prayer will help any situation. If I ask my dad for help or what ever it is I want he will help me but I need to ask…. (remember this part for later in the story).

So, the next 3 days are based on my question. I just wanted to know that my dad was ok and what I need to know.

Decide to be happy now….
I TOLD my closest friends that this trip is where I decide to leave the past in the past and to make a conscience decision to be happy.

The last card really made me cry….
Believe and trust…this may seem like a general meaning and card for any situation BUT my dad was super religious and he ALWAYS said throughout MY LIFE to believe in god and to have faith. I know the card isn’t word for word but its pretty dam close.

On the anniversary of my dads death I could not have asked for a more comforting message and for me it was fate that these girls path crossed mine.


(Above is the last picture I have with my dad. I remember as we took the picture he placed his hand on my back. The most precious picture I have of him).

Remember the card asking to pray and ask if I want something ?….
So firstly that night I start talking to my dad before I go to bed and I say amongst other things ‘Papa please continue to send me good people my way throughout my travels’. Then off to bed I go…. next morning…
I’m packing, getting ready to leave Bagan in my room and I’m just talking openly to my dad and all of a sudden for the first time my TV switches on. My heart feels warm and I continue talking knowing he’s there.
Finally my pick up bus arrives and I board it. Walking down the aisle I turn left and there’s Pamela. We met a week ago back in Yangon and here she was off to Kalaw to do the 3 day trek like me. Thanks Paps 💛